Thursday, January 20, 2011

Preparing for Battle

1.  5 days worth of cool, comfortable clothes, with easy arm access- Check.
2.  Ipad, laptop, Cancer survivor books, Jewish meditation cd- Check.
3.  Biggie (Big Bird) and Moe ( Elmo)- Check.
4.  Shabbat Candles- Check
5.  Photos of Marc and I on the beach holding hands- Check.
6.  A mental collection of beautiful and relaxing places I have been to or hope to one day visit- Check.
7.  Upbeat world music- Check.
8.  Peppermints and Lemonheads- Check
9.  A hot shower and a close shave- Check.
10.  Singing L'Chaim from Fiddler on the Roof at the top of my lungs- Check.

Ready for battle?

Hell yes.

The anticipation is finally over. Tomorrow I will begin to actively and wholeheartedly fight my Cancer. I no longer will let her take punches and stand there puzzled. Its time to defend myself.  Tomorrow- slowly and methodically I will deliver punch after to punch in retaliation for the last 6 months she has held me hostage.

Every 17 days I will be admitted to Prentice Hospital where I will spend 4-5 days having Chemo 24 hours a day.

Thats a lot to digest.

Strangely enough when my oncologist delivered the news, I felt a tremendous sense of relief and hope. He explained that he would rather over-treat me than under-treat me- to help ensure this Cancer doesn't come back.  He also believes that this regimen will help ensure I wont have radiation down the road.

I never thought I wold be excited to start Chemo- but I really am. I think reframing my relationship with her has helped a great deal, and while the wait has been brutal it has given me a lot of time to think about what is to come,  and reflect.  I am not as wrapped up in the side effects as I am focused in knocking her out.

As I prepare for my long hospital day I posit a few questions to those of that are reading.

1. Do you have any "light" t-v shows that are easy to get into and will hold my attention?
2. Any books that are page turners (that  preferably have nothing to do with Cancer?
3. Any rituals, thoughts, quotes, mantras, prayers that you think I should consider integrating into my practice?
4. Any good new music???

Thank you for your input! I welcome it.

It's strange to think that this will be my last post before Chemo enters my body and before I really start fighting. Actually- scratch that. I have been fighting for a long time now- maybe not with medicine but with my mind.  Tomorrow I will get to deliver the 1-2 punch.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers throughout this process.

I not only hear you, but I feel you.


  1. 1st series of Californication on DVD...if you could play it on your laptop. Awesome. Let me know if you've seen it yet/if you can play DVDs and I'll have amazon deliver it direct to your bed! Second series sucks.

    At any future hospital stay, if you ever want an hour of entertainment and have the strength for visitors, I'll come dance and sing for you. I can't dance, and I can't sing, so it would be sure to cheer you up.

    Thoughts - I think your last post said it all. For each side effect of chemo that sucks, you have to imagine that discomfort is actually a great sign that cancer is getting kicked around, beaten up and destroyed. Bring it on!

    Simone xx

  2. Actually season one of Californication is available on demand through Netflix!

  3. 1. Modern Family, I Love Lucy, Friends.
    2. Harry Potter 1-7. Twilight 1-4.
    3. breathe.
    4. Bonobo.

  4. Modern Family!

    Sending you positive vibes and lot of love from New York- and wishing I could curl up at the foot of your bed tomorrow.

  5. Modern Family!

    Sending positive vibes and lots of love from New York- wishing I could curl up at the foot of your bed tomorrow.

    Don't forget the red velour pants.

  6. how I met your mother... very funny:)

    sending lots of love and light

  7. I was also going to write "Modern Family" very funny and definitely light. You are going to be great, you are great.

  8. 1. Dawson's Creek or My So-Called Life. The melodramatic angst of the teens will always overshadow anything based in reality.
    2. The Lost Symbol and The Help
    3. To copy Dee's sentiments, just breathe.
    4. Cee Lo Green does a bang-up job of delivering a smile. Fanfarlo, also good.

    Best of luck this weekend, Jenna. You're in my thoughts and prayers. You've got this thing in the bag :)

  9. Book: Shut Up, I'm Talking: And Other Diplomacy Lessons I Learned in the Israeli Government--A Memoir by Gregory Levey
    - This is a great book that I think you would really enjoy. A very quick read.

    2 TV Shows to recommend. Both are hilarious comedies that are easy to get into.
    - Party Down, which I think is on Netflix Streaming
    - Parks and Recreation. Just start with Season 2, which is also on Netflix Streaming.

  10. It's always sunny in philadelphia. great show, I think 5 seasons are on DVD....

    Go kick some ass!

  11. I have two seasons of Alias on dvd. Not a light comedy but a great show if you're up for some girl-power, a$$-kicking CIA action. If you want to try them I'll bring them by.

  12. 1. Being Erica is a great 'light' show.
    2. music: John Coltrane "A love Supreme"
    3. you're an amazing woman Jenna and you're right about humour and positivity being the most important things to have as you battle the big C. My dad was diagnosed with Hodgkin's last Dec/Jan. and he killed it in the butt by August. His hair is back and thicker than ever, he's gained back almost all his weight, and I'm more in love with him than ever...if you're feeling down, I'm sure he could give you a dose of positive thinking. xoxo from Montreal