1. "Hello Jenna, welcome to floor 16, please note that all modesty has been officially checked at the door. As apart of your initiation we need to swipe your ass for bacteria and we need you to measure everything that comes out of your body." " Everything?" "Yes, everything".
2. My "sleep schedule"- premeds at 11:45 pm, Chemo Bag switch at 12:45 am, blood drawn at 2am, 4:30 bed check, 5:00 am scale.
3. "Preston, do I really need to get on a scale at 5am?" "J- this is the best time to weigh you." "Really, Preston- why is that." "Because no one else is up, and you haven't eaten". "Um ok- but I am pretty sure 8 am would work too". "Come on J- get on the scale." Preston- why has my weight gone up 10 pounds. Oh its just water weight -weight, you will pee out in a day." " Is this normal? "J- I don't know what normal is anymore"."Well that makes two of us"
4. Taking a shower after gaining 10 pounds means I am no longer able to fit into the same size towel I used the night before. In a state of desperation I came out of the shower and declared to Marc, "babe, you are officially dating a renaissance woman with curves everywhere." My changing body continues to fascinate me.
5. Taking a diuretic to help get rid of the water weight meant urinating every 7 minutes. I was a great host. I also lost 6 pounds in 2 hours.
6. Walking a mile yesterday with Kasey, wearing a strobe light ring, and chatting about nonsense. Felt so good to just shoot the shit.
7. Danny and Bernard's visit which consisted of dancing in my room, watching beautiful men eat ice cream, and flirting with hospital staff.
8. Kasey passing out and snoring while we were meditating, and then crawling on the floor for no real reason at all
9. Post work out, watching Jersey Shore on the computer at full blast in the community room while an elderly gentleman stared out into space. How do you tune out Jersey shore?
10. Neely's friend's mother who teaches yoga for cancer patients ( and whom I have never met), made a surprise visit and showed up with great energy and a new lipstick!
11. Meeting a palliative care patient and telling him he looked great. The grin that came across his face was priceless- a memory I will cherish in years to come.
12. Watching my parents faces light up when they saw I was actually tolerating the Chemo, and feeling good. I saw a light in their eyes I haven't seen for a while now.
13. Having date night with Marc which consisted of eating dinner, talking politics, and watching Government Mule live at Jazzfest. I felt transported.
14. Nurse Sue positioning biggie at the top of my Chemo Machine, dressing her with a bow, officially making her look like a parisian bird. She is styling today. Nurse Sue claimed it was critical that she be tied on, because it would be a tragedy if she stumbled to the floor and her eyes fell out. We both knew she was having an intimate moment with Biggie.
15. Nurse Laura wrapping me in a hot blanket like a cocoon before going to bed at night. I felt safe, I felt secure, I felt loved.
These moments make me laugh, they make me cry, they keep me strong.