Tuesday, January 11, 2011
In Order to Progress You May Need to Regress
I have been worried about the bone marrow procedure for weeks. In all seriousness this scared me more than the start of chemo. I think the visual of knowing that someone would be drilling a very long needle into my bone(which cant be numbed) terrified me. I also was aware that he would be carefully navigating a web of nerves that he could potentially hit in the process of aspiration. The anticipation of the procedure had kept me up at night for weeks.
The past three weeks I have slowly been accepting the fact that I will need to rely on others to care for me, and that my independence is going to be somewhat compromised. In some ways I feel like a child, having to rely on my parents, Marc, Neely, and my friends to look after me in this time of need. As someone who is used to giving, it is hard to feel like I am constantly taking. I am slowly learning that now is the time to be selfish, to lean on those close to me who are able to lift me up and cheer me on during this fight.
Posted by Jenna at 7:55 PM