Slowly Moving from Pause to Play.

With round 5 complete, and round 6 only 14 days away, I have started to think about what life may look like when I release the pause button and actually press play.

For the past 5 months, my world, my life, my blood, has been put on hold and held captive by Cancer. As my moments turned into hours, days, weeks, and months, I have stood still, patiently waiting. 

I am waiting to be included, waiting to be apart of your story, waiting to write my own. 

While patiently waiting, I have quietly watched your lives unfold. 

I have seen love grow and develop, relationships tested and strengthened, and the miracle of life be brought into this world. I have watched you struggle with career choices, debated next steps, and wrestled with life's uncertainties.  

As I stopped, you continued. As I watched, you played.  

As I get ready for my last round, I am trying to visualize what pressing play looks, feels and tastes like.  

Does pressing play mean taking chances, setting goals, and building a future I can be proud of? Or does pressing play mean living here in this moment- one breath at a time?

While it may seem that I am standing still, there is so much of me that is moving.  I just hope my body will eventually catch up to my mind, heart and spirit. Perhaps it is then, when I can finally say, I am no longer on pause, but rather on play.