Thursday, June 9, 2011

Blucked.

Here we are 16 days after the unexpected round 7.
A lot has happened.

I moved.
I hosted a housewarming party for some of my closest friends.
I shared my story for the first time at Grant Park and led 4,000 survivors in the Twist.
I returned to work full time.
I got back in the boxing ring.
I ate sushi for the first time last night after a 7 month hiatus.
I ran 7.5 miles today after not being able to run for a month from extreme pain in my abdomen which has now subsided.
I no longer have a bacterial infection in my urine.
My immune system has rebounded.
I slept 8 hours last night for the first time in 7 months.
I have stubble growing on my head.
I found a few budding eyelashes and eyebrows.
I discovered new muscles in my arms.
I reclaimed my taste buds, but realized the the hard way that I still need to avoid spicy foods.
I continue to see the world in hyper color.

Life after Chemotherapy is good- really good- almost too good.

I feel incredibly blessed and incredibly lucky.

Actually-scratch that. Both of these words don't fully capture what I am feeling.

Is it that I am really blessed and really lucky, or is it something else?
I actually think the word I am searching for is somewhere in between.

Let's call it bluck.
I am blucked.

I have been thinking a lot about gratitude.
I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I am able to see the world in hypercolor, that I was able to survive Cancer, that I was able to survive Gram Negative Rods, and that I am here today- living, breathing and dancing in a way that I never thought was possible.

I feel like I have a serious crush on life right now.

I am savoring every taste, every smell, every breath- and I feel lucky, I feel blessed, I feel blucked that I am able to live like this.

I no longer am living in the shadows- but have tiptoed into the sunshine. I can't say I am fully integrated into the real world, but I am making my way- slowly.

Come find me.

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